Jane O'Rourke

When I begin to work with someone, they are usually at a point of transition in their life, and there is a presenting issue that has rendered them vulnerable in some way. This allows the opportunity for us to do significant and meaningful work.

 

The way I think about my work is that I “join” with my clients, rolling up my shirt sleeves and going up to my elbows into their hearts and souls. Together, we will examine the motivating factors that led them to reach out for help. Like a jigsaw puzzle, we will sort out the pieces and organize them, discovering the answers together.

 

I want my clients to feel respected and not judged. Their well-being is my priority, and I feel that it’s important to create a space of warmth and safety in which to be vulnerable and open to sharing with me. I think about the space as a place where we can examine what’s happening in the context of the outside world, extrapolating what is important from within their environment. This work, gaining trust and forming connections with clients, is an honor for me. I find it a privilege to be a part of their lives and invited into their hearts.

 

I think about the therapeutic relationship like any other; if the chemistry isn’t there, the trust won’t be built and the work that needs to be done won’t ever happen. It’s most important that we find the right fit!​​

 

 The following are a few suggestions to consider as you develop your strategy to manage what feels unmanageable.

 

Create New Routines

• Try to get out of bed at the same time each day

• Plan your day in “chunks” of time (consider categories such as meals, work, study, exercise, housework, and connecting online with friends and family)

• Plan for repeating weekday and weekend routines

• Use your calendar to schedule tasks and activities

• Create to-do lists

• Shower and get dressed every day

• Build rewards into each day

• Become comfortable wearing a mask in public

 

Stay Connected

• Improve your technology skills to help you stay in touch with others

• Create Zoom or Google groups with friends and family

• Share meals and celebrations via Zoom or Google

• Play games

• Check in regularly with those you love and with those you are the most concerned about

• Consider outdoor activities such as going to a park, hiking, or gardening (keep proper social distancing in mind)

 

​Self-Care

• Practice increased hygiene, especially washing hands with soap

• Eat balanced and nutritious meals (increase fruits and veggies)

• Observe your use of alcohol

• Listen to music and add to your playlist

• Pull out the pile of books you have always wanted to read

• Read aloud to children via Zoom

• Watch movies and TV shows from the genres you find entertaining. For example, list all of your favorite movies and have a Movie Night with popcorn 

• Work on jigsaw puzzles

• Learn to cook new dishes; create dinner theme nights 

• Try your hand at baking

• Exercise both indoors and outdoors

• Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings, including lists of wishes and hopes for the future

• Try an online relaxation or meditation app such as Headspace

• Look at the things that are good in your life

 

Limit Media Exposure

• Stick to reliable sources for information about COVID-19, such as the WHO, CDC, or local government agencies

• Limit the amount of time you interact with the news each day

• Consider restricting your news coverage to a regularly scheduled hour of the day

• Only post or forward information from reliable sources

• Remember that information changes daily, so do not overrespond to today’s update

 ​

Self-Awareness

• Observe sleep habits; create going-to-bed routines

• Stop all screens 60 minutes before starting your going-to-bed routine 

• Examine your thinking and the presence of anxiety and stress. Ask for support if you are feeling overwhelmed

• Discuss worries and concerns with those you trust, including your therapist or spiritual leader

• Remind yourself of your strengths and of all the things you have been through in your life. Also remind yourself that you were able to get to the other side

• Decide to be the best you, post-pandemic

 

*Referenced in part from Psychosocial Oncology, DFCI